A Story About Life
For K.
Ok. About 8 years ago, I was working as an OVERWORKED manager for a retailer. It was the holiday season. I had a bladder infection. I was the only manager in the store.
Suddenly, I realized I needed to urinate. Bad. Worse than ever before & ever since. However, the restrooms were complety across the store. And holding it seemed unlikely. So, I went in the cash office. Tried to get my bearings.
There was a 19 year old employee of mine in there. “Whats wrong?” he asked, sensing something was amiss. “Oh,” I said ” I think I’m about to pee my pants…. Wait. I’m peeing them.”
My legs grew warm. And wet.
He looked down, horrified (for me, bless his dear heart). “Are you ok?” he asked, and pushed a chair at me. Which I sat in. For some reason. The chair would be my victim, in this otherwise victimless crime.
He cleaned up. (Saint!) I called an unsympathetic co-worker, who brought me back up clothes, in hysterics. The day went on.
So. There you go. Satisfied?
Never NEVER ask me about the stoned night in downtown Chicago with a similar (but very different) outcome. You don’t want to know.
